one at a time, i'm lost in little deaths [KALEB] !

[ROSALIE HALE]

One at a time, constants become surreal
One at a time, heart attacks are consealed
I can see that I lose the joys of life,

One at a time.
Suicides are revealed
You will see that I lost another life

Rosalie sighed softly as she wandered into the Forks Cemetery. She had known a few people here over time... People from the years they were here and left. At times she liked to come here to think and be to herself... she seemed to be the only true morbid one of the family that would come anywhere close to here anyway. She sighed softly and ran her smooth cold pale fingers over a coffin that was above ground looking at it. A good friend of hers from a past life was buried here... back when she didn't have many friends... it was really one of the only human friends Rosalie ever had.

Closing her eyes she let her fingers fall from the tombstone. Corrine Rachel Smith. Corri was her fall back back even before Emmett... back when it was only a few of the Cullens. When she was tossed to the side by Edward because she wasn't good enough for him. She was still pretty bitter about it but she had worlds better than Edward anyway. Edward was now just an annoyance to her. But Corri was there while she was struggling with her new life... She actually told Corrine what she was. Corri liked to do anything she could for Rose and Rose did the same to her.

Corrine died years ago and left Rosalie a few things. Mostly things that were antiques now-a-days and a few paintings of Rose that Corrine did herself. One of the paintings were of Rose and Corrine but she never showed anybody them seeing as it was skeptic to showing humans who they were. That and she didn't want them ruined. A small smile fell upon Rose's face as she thought of her old friend. Rose used to treat her better than family. She helped raise Corrine's little boy when Richard ran off. Rose also haunted the man for the pain he put Corrine through by running off with a bar maid. Up until his death at age 48. He deserved the painful death he endured just like her ex fiancee did.

A soft sigh escaped her lips as she kneeled down to the grass around her grave. "Hello Corrine... It's me again..." She whispered to the headstone. Her cold slender fingers ran over her name and smiled softly. It was the nicest headstone of it's time... Rose got her the best. "I miss you Corri... I miss your good advice... I stopped by and saw your relatives today... they seem to be getting by nicely... Sharon has a beautiful daughter now... Looks just like you..." She spoke and chuckled softly. "They are nice people... It is nice to know the legend of myself keeps on in the family... of course it has changed some... they think I am a guardian angel..." She spoke with a soft smile.

"I now have a boy of my own... Kaleb... he's a handsome young man... I haven't been so proud in my life... You were right... patience will get you what you want... You know how I always wanted a child." She spoke and pulled the bouqet of roses and lawn daisies seeing as Corrine liked to grow them. She straightened them up and removed the wilting flowers from the jar on her grave and replaced them with the new ones. "I hope things are well.. wherever you are... I just wanted to stop by... to let you know that I'm still thinking about you... and that I do miss and love you..." She whispered and smiled at the tombstone once more. Taking a moment she placed her hand on the tombstone once more and smiled softly as her fingers traced the waring rock.



tag: kaleb
comments: this is what i get for watching the addams family xD and now elvira
song credits: Under The Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers
word count: 675

[KALEB CULLEN]

Kaleb had been out hunting late and now found himself in the graveyard of Forks. He came maybe once or twice a week, most of the time once to see his parents and little sister's grave. He never wanted to let the people he now considered his family to find out why he tried to commit suicide. It was his secret and he wasn't keen on sharing it. Walking through the dampen grass he came across the three tombstones that sat in a row on the grass. There should be four was always what crossed his mind when he came but being he went "missing" after the house fire and was never found it seemed he was forgotten. Yet he didn't forget his family.

Crouching down on the ground he sighed and looked at the three tomb stones as he rested his elbows on his knees. His amber eyes looked over each name and date and little quote. His sister's grave was the oldest and in his opinion didn't deserve to be there. His Parents graves shouldn't be there either but that viewpoint was more for his sister. She died much to young and in the worst way. He knew his parents died horrible too but they were dead before the pain came. Unlike his sister.

Kaleb ran his hands through his hair. He always felt ridiculous for speaking to the three rocks but he knew even if he wasn't exactly a whole believer in the after life that they were listening.

"Mom, Dad, Sam..."

He spoke, using the nickname everyone had always called his little sister,

"I miss you guys. I'm doing great and where ever you are I imagine you guys are just fine too. So I guess we don't have to worry to much about each other. We'll just have to keep missing each other..."

He stopped and looked around he was barely speaking above a whisper but that's when he heard the voice of his Adoptive mother. Why she was here he didn't know. But he turned back to the graves of his biological family. The voice of Rosalie still in his ears.

Sitting on the wet grass he picked at the blades of grass and tossed them to the ground and just stared at the graves. The night air was cold even though it didn't bother him or feel cold against his granite skin. The moon loomed overhead casting shadows across the dampen earth. If he wasn't a vampire he'd be shivering.

He thought back on the deaths of his sister and parents. He knew if he ever found the person who murdered his little sister they'd beg for death before he was finished with them. He missed his sister and always would. His parents who he missed he knew they died before the flames had gotten to them. Smoke inhalation would have killed them.

Kaleb let out a sigh as the venom pricked at his eyes. Tears he'd never cry. Last time he had cried was when he was distraught and slit his wrist. A action and memory that nagged at him but seemed so far away. He recalled the times they had asked him why he tried to kill himself leaving their questions hanging and building a wall of bricks around his mind so Edward wouldn't read his thoughts.

Edward himself had said reading him was like a train hitting a brick wall. He was to guarded to let anyone in his mind. The only ones in the family he was close to and would actually let in even if he still hid his past from them was Emmett and Rosalie, and Renesmee. In the distance he could hear the sound of Rosalie's stone like fingers gracing over a stone. Whomever she was visiting had to be someone she cared for. He heard from most of the family she was a bit sour to people in and out of the family. Although he had never really seen that side of her. Unless one of the shape shifters were around.

Kaleb was wearing a pair of black jeans and a green t-shirt and black leather jacket with a pair of sneakers. Standing from the ground he brushed his jeans off tossed the dead withered flowers from each of his parents and then his sisters grave. Looking at them he tossed them over his shoulder in disgust and then placed new ones in the vases. Same as always four red roses with a single white one in the middle of the four red ones.

POSTWORDCOUNT:: 759
MYCURRENTMOOD:: high fiving mine and wheaty's brain for their cleverness
THECURRENTSONG:: whispers in dark - skillet
POSTISTAGGEDFOR:: r. hale
THEWRITERCOMMENTS:: you made me cry *sniffles*

[ROSALIE HALE]

One at a time, constants become surreal
One at a time, heart attacks are consealed
I can see that I lose the joys of life,

One at a time.
Suicides are revealed
You will see that I lost another life

Rosalie sighed softly as she stared at the grave and smiled softly at it. "I keep your memory alive in your family... I told them tales of your greatness when I visited them... their child is beautiful... they didn't want me to leave when I saw them... They wanted me to stay around and tell them more stories." She spoke and sighed softly with a smile. She really enjoyed visiting Corrine's family. She made Corrine a promise years and years ago... When Corrine was in her deathbed Rosalie sat there holding her hand and doing anything she could for her. Rose tended to her when she first got sick.

Rose promised Corrine that she would look over her children for years to come... Her son was there next to her... poor man was in love with Rosalie. After Corrine's death she had to disappear so he could live on with his life and forget about her. And live on he did as well as his 2 sisters and little brother. She did come to visit often though and when they were in trouble Rosalie was usually there on the spot to save them from any trouble that they would befall. Except for the couple... She had visited them before the accident... Met their little boy... It was funny because Kaleb resembled him slightly.

The little boy loved her to death. She brought him presents and told him stories about his ancestor Corrine. The family was lovely and welcomed her back any time... but unfortunately it was time for the Cullens to move out of the area for they were looking too young to be there anymore. She came back years later after getting a few letters from the family... their little girl died so she wanted to go and watch over the family for a few months and make sure everyone was alright. But to her dispair she was far too late... she got there the morning after the fire and neighbors said that the family died in it.

A soft sigh escaped her lips sadly as she thought about it and she swallowed a lump in her throat as she looked down at the grave. "I'm so sorry Corrine... For the family... I promised you and I failed my word..." She spoke lower than a whisper. "But I swear to you Corrine... I wont let it happen again.... I promised to keep your family safe... and dispite my flaw... I will keep that promise..." She whispered and smiled softly at her. Rose squatted once more and kissed her fingers before placing them against the stone on her name. "I love you Corri... Rest in peace my sister..." She whispered and smiled softly before standing up straight.

Rosalie wasn't sad anymore for Corrine's death... sure it still hurt to know her best friend was dead and gone and there was nothing she could do to bring her back.... But knowing that her friend died of old age and lived long enough to see her great grandkids made her happy. She knew Corrine was happy with her life and it was her time to go.

A soft smile appeared on her face and she stood up taking a deep breath through her nose when she caught his scent... Kaleb... what was he doing here? She looked over towards him and saw him setting flowers. Another smile appeared on her face as she looked at her son. He was a beautiful boy and she loved him with everything she was. Sure she wan't his birth mother but she still somehow felt that connection with him. She walked as slow as a human till she got to him. "Hey honey." She spoke softly and placed a hand on his back softly. She was almost as tall as he was seeing as she was in heels. She wore heels to make her taller to about 5'11.

Rosalie's looked at him and smiled softly before kissing his cheek. She rubbed his back softly and looked down at the flowers he put together for the people not bothering to take down the names. "Hearts starve as well as bodies; give us bread, but give us roses." She recited softly and rubbed his back some more. "Roses signify so much in this world... Love... Celebration... Pain..." She spoke sotly and looked up at him. "What is up Kaleb... you know you can talk to me honey..." She spoke softly as her golden eyes searched his that seemed to hide pain well behind them... but if Rose knew anything... it was how to hide emotions... which made her able to see through anyone's brick walls they formed.



tag: kaleb
comments: this is what i get for watching the addams family xD and now elvira
song credits: Under The Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers
word count: 837

[KALEB CULLEN]

Kaleb heard Rosalie, his adoptive mother approach. She listened as she spoke and shoved his hands in his pocket, Roses meant a pile of things each color had a meaning but no one really cared about the meanings. He kinda just left that in the back of his mind, Speaking as he looked at the grave sites,

"Roses mean remembrance as well."

He blew his bangs from his eyes with a huff of breath. Yet they fell right back into his eyes. Removing his hand from his pocket he brushed them away with his fingers and looked at her with amber eyes. Sure he could talk to her and tell her anything. She took place of the mother he lost in the fire that took the life of both his parents. The real question for him was if he actually wanted and was ready to tell her why he had tried to commit suicide and why she had found him in his own blood in the middle of the woods.

Kaleb had kept it to himself for so long. Most people would say almost two for his parents and four years for his sister was long enough and it was time to let it go but the people that always said that never knew what it was like to loose people you cared about. It was bad enough when he lost his sister. He nor his parents were ever the same. But losing both your parents in one go while still not over a previous death was enough to knock anyone for a loop and make you think deaths the only way out of the heartbreak and pain you felt.

Sighing he gave a small shrug. He knew she knew he was hiding something. All of them did. Her probably more than any of them. Didn't take an empath or mind reader to know both built brick walls and could easily tell when someone else did and was hiding emotions. Easier to tell with him cause he was so guarded.

"Would you even really understand if I told you?"

Kaleb asked as he looked at her and back at the three tombstones contemplating on telling her. Venom pricked at his eyes, like stinging tears. Tears that would never be shed. He figured it had been long enough keeping them all in the dark and he had wanted to tell them before but never really could muck up the stomach to do it.

Would she even consider him her son when she found out just how badly she wanted to track down the man that killed his sister and give him pain that his sister went through or would she be distraught when he told her that he had wished he was rotting in the woods still as food for the birds and ground critters.

Sure Kaleb loved them all like family but that never stopped the fact that he wished he was dead then he could be with the ones that died that were his real family. It had occurred multiple times to him that if he hadn't had practice for baseball the day the house went up in flames he'd most likely be dead to.

Looking at the one he considered his mother now he waited for her answer. She probably wouldn't understand. Or maybe she would. You could never tell but he'd probably manage to tell her if he kept the nerve to in his mind.

POSTWORDCOUNT:: 578 (EW SHORT)
MYCURRENTMOOD:: high fiving mine and wheaty's brain for their cleverness
THECURRENTSONG:: your guardian angel - red jumpsuit apparatus
POSTISTAGGEDFOR:: r. hale
THEWRITERCOMMENTS:: n.a

[ROSALIE HALE]

One at a time, constants become surreal
One at a time, heart attacks are consealed
I can see that I lose the joys of life,

One at a time.
Suicides are revealed
You will see that I lost another life

Rosalie looked over at her son and let her fingers graze his back as she rubbed it softly. Just trying to show him affection that the mother in her craved to give a child. She listened to him and she smiled slightly and nodded at him. "Yes... for rememberance as well... Rose's mean various things... The ones we place here.... I imagine it harbors all four.... Pain.... Love.... Celebration... and Rememberance... We are celebrating their life by being here and presenting the rose... Love and Pain in our hearts for the ones we lost... and rememberance... to show others that people still care about the body withering under the stone... and the soul it once possessed..." She spoke softly as she looked back down to the rose's.

Seeing him blow the bangs out of his face she smiled softly and placed her other hand on his shoulder. "Honey... I knew something was wrong the minute you walked into my life... You can't hide anything from me... As you do, I hold secrets too... I hold in a lot of pain... and secrets of my past... There are things about me your father doesn't even know about... I am a very secretive person... I assure you... you can tell me anything that is going on in your life ever... I don't care what it is... don't ever hesitate... I love you Kaleb... you are my son... I would never force you to do anything or tell me anything... I just wish you would... cause honey you might figure out that I understand and can relate better than you may know..." She spoke and brushed the bangs out of his face as they fell once more and tucked them by his ear.

"My son.... Kaleb.... I don't want you to hold in this pain... I don't want you to feel like there is no one you can trust... I want you to know I am here for you no matter what happens or what you do and that I love you." She spoke and sighed softly placing another smile on her face. "I can assure you... that no matter what it is... nothing will change... you are still my son for better and for worse and I love you as if I birthed you myself Kaleb... There is much more to me than meets the eye... I promise you nothing you say will surprise me much... I have felt a lot of things through this life... some things more than others... Ask Edward... Carlisle... Esme... I have been through a lot of tough things... If anybody honey... you can count on me..." She spoke softly and rubbed his shoulder a little. She turned him and made him look at her. "What is on your mind..." She spoke softly.



tag: kaleb
comments: i love our thinking
song credits: Under The Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers
word count: 515

[KALEB CULLEN]

Kaleb looked at her. What she said he already was sure what she would probably say. It was obvious she would say something along those lines. Although it made him feel better to know she wouldn't judge didn't ease the jitters any. But what she said next did. Maybe they were in the same boat. He didn't know maybe after he told her if he asked she'd tell him. Kaleb knew if he asked for her to tell him her story first he may lose nerve to tell her his story.

"Walked into your life? I more like bled into your life."

He said before he dragged his ghostly white fingers through his dark hair. It was the truth he was bleeding near death when she found him. Even though he knew his adoptive mother never to taste human blood he knew it was probably his blood that drew her to him.

"When you found me. When I tried to kill myself. I thought death was the only answer the only way out. It really all started four years ago about five now when I came home from school I learned my sister, Samantha never came home. She always walked home from school after she got older. Everyone in town knew everyone and it wasn't that long of a walk so it was safe. Well she went missing. We looked everyone did. Me and My Mom and Dad looked even after the police stopped. It was a year before anything came back up. But the damage was already done none of us were the same again..."

He sighed and looked at the ground trying so hard to keep the barrier on his emotions up. Thinking was bad enough talking about it was worse. He was just opening up a wound he worked so hard to numb and seal up.

"A hunter found her remains in the woods in a creeks edge. the severe rain had washed all the mud away. She was murdered. Someone kill her. She was only twelve and they killed her and did god, if there is one only knows what else the sick bastard did to her. Then the day you found me I had come home from baseball practice a bit late cause our coach was running late. I came home to find the house up in flames. Parents were no where in sight and their cars were in the drive. I knew what had happened. The fire broke out and they didn't get out."

His voice was choked and deep holding back the tearless sobs he so badly didn't want to release. Maybe crying would have helped but he refused to Crying or dry sobbing got nothing fixed only showed there was a problem,

"I dropped my stuff and just ran. I didn't look back I wasn't thinking. I that ran through my head was my sister's face and that I now lost both my parents. I finally stopped running then it just seemed death was easy. I had started cutting when my sister died because it seemed the only way I felt pain or human was when I cut. It was normal to me. My parents never got over it so I didn't want to bother them with my own sadness and anger and guilt. I slit my wrist as deep as I could and as much as I could. Last thing before burning I remember was hearing crunching and seeing a pair of feet in front of me."

He gave a small growl and just wanted to tear something apart. If there was a tree that had been close enough he would have up rooted it or scared it in some way.

"There was nothing else. I figured hey may as well kill myself and be done with it. No one is around to miss me or care. Only people I ever cared for and vise versa are dead now. Then when I felt the burning and woke up and found out what happened I had just wished I would have died before you found me and then left me for the birds to eat and to rot in piece. If I hadn't have had late practice I would have died in the fire to so its what I thought I deserved. Death. But now all I want is to find the damn person who killed my sister and rip him to shreds and make him beg for death to come to him. Give him the same pain my sister felt."

Kaleb said ranting now. His eyes were swirling with a mixture of emotions as they darkened. Hate, Anger, Guilt, Sadness. Everything he had bottled up and locked away. Everything he hid so no one would know. Kaleb ran his hands angrily through his hair roughly. If she had a story that could even be close to that or worse then she knew what he was going through it not she just wouldn't understand.

POSTWORDCOUNT:: 832
MYCURRENTMOOD:: high fiving mine and wheaty's brain for their cleverness
THECURRENTSONG:: smile in your sleep - silverstein
POSTISTAGGEDFOR:: r. hale
THEWRITERCOMMENTS:: n.a

[ROSALIE HALE]

One at a time, constants become surreal
One at a time, heart attacks are consealed
I can see that I lose the joys of life,

One at a time.
Suicides are revealed
You will see that I lost another life

Rosalie listened to him and frowned softly at his answer. "I was lucky to have found you Kaleb... I don't feel you are a burden... I love you as if you are my own child... I don't know what it was I would do if I lost you Kaleb..." She spoke softly and then went quiet as she listened to his story of what had happened. A frown formed on her lips as she listened to his story. It was all very sad... The entire story.... His poor sister... Hatred boiled in her instantly for the death of the child. She hated when people harmed children... they had done nothing for it and the burning hatred she had for her ex fiancee boiled back to the surface and she had to look away so Kaleb could not see the hatred in her eyes.

Continuing to listen she closed her eyes and shook her head until he was done. At his last word she opened her eyes and looked up at him. Something had clicked in her head... all of it did... the entire story... the murder of the child... the burning of the house... his name. "Kaleb Sage Lake..." She whispered almost inaudibly as she looked up at him. Her golden eyes looked into his before she looked over him and memories flashed back to her. "Kaleb..." She whispered once more and a soft smile appeared on her face and she closed her eyes once more. A soft laugh escaped her lips momentarily before they opened again and placed a hand on his cheek.

"Forgive me Kaleb... I just... pieced things together... Kaleb.... I don't know if you remember... But I met you... and your parents when you were very little..." She spoke softly and smiled softly. "I am sorry Kaleb... for all the pain you had to endure.." She whispered as her smile faded into a frown. Her eyes moved from him to the tombstones of his family. She kneeled down to them and read the names and inscriptions. "Your parents... they were good people Kaleb... I never got a chance to miss your sister.... I'm sorry but you shouldn't blame yourself... if anything their deaths were my fault... I brought this tragedy to you..." She spoke softly and sighed as she ran her fingers across the name.

"Follow me Kaleb... you have much to hear..." She spoke as she stood up and ran to the other tombstone she was at and kneeled there running her fingers over the old stone. "This... is your great great great grandmother... I owe her everything Kaleb... She was there for me... I stumbled upon her soon after I was changed... She was my shoulder to lean on... she was one of my only best friends in this life..." She spoke and smiled only slightly as her eyes ran over the name. "I was there... with your great great grandfather on her death bed... I made her a promise... for all she had done for me that I would protect and look after her children for years and years to come till I no longer walk this world." She spoke and dropped her hand softly to her lap.

A soft sad sigh escaped her lips. "I had gotten word of your sister while the family was away... I had gotten there to know that deaths had occurred... people told me you were dead as well... It killed me to think I lost every one of you... I had done so well in the years only to lose all of you in one small period of time... I should have been here... and I apologize for it Kaleb..." She spoke sadly in a whisper. "I however... am not sorry I found you Kaleb... as I said... you are my son... you are the great great great grandson of my best friend... my sister as I called her... If I had a choice I would do it all over again Kaleb... I had wished a long time for children... and after years and years of waiting... My dreams came true as I saved you..." She spoke and looked back up to him.

"It may not mean much to you Kaleb... but I want to tell you something I never share with anyone unless I have to... I didn't want you to know this tale of trechery but it is necessary.. I don't want you to feel alone." She spoke and stood back up looking down at her grave. "Walk with me Kaleb... We best head towards the house as I tell you... we shouldn't be out when dawn comes... Tomorrow is a sunny day..." She spoke and grabbed his hand cupping hers against his. Her eyes looked up at him slightly before looking away. "Have you ever wondered why everyone's story of how they were turned always tends to circle the house except mine?" She asked softly as she walked with him.

"Kaleb my story is one that would make drama writers cringe... It isn't one to be taken lightly..." She spoke softly and swallowed a lump in her throat. "Kaleb I lived years and years ago to a banker and his wife... both were greedy and superficial... I was raised in that atmosphere and was raised to believe my purpose was to find myself a wealthy man to keep me, my children, and the rest of my family stable... These were terrible times... my parents just wanted money... Money to them was happiness..." She spoke softly as they walked and she looked up at the starry sky biting his lip softly. "Seeing as my parents raised me this way I had become a greedy superficial person as well... self centered... believing I deserved nothing less than taking a wealthy man as my husband...."

Her eyes searched the sky as they walked and she looked back to him and smiled a fake smile before looking away once more. "Well a marriage was arranged... a very wealthy man that assured my happiness... Nothing could have been better for me or my family... I was the most beautiful girl in the town and I took great pride in that... I wanted to be wanted... I wanted to be held high and treated like a queen... I was very vain and shallow... I still am sometimes... but I don't take pride in it anymore... no..." She spoke and chuckled slightly shaking her head. "I had a friend back in those times... she was dear to me... I loved her yet hated her at the same time... Why may you ask? I envied her... I never lived with such jealousy of a person as I did her... I had realized that she had something special I couldn't find Kaleb... Love... her relationship with her husband was love..." She spoke and smiled slightly.

"It took me a while but I realized my fiancee Royce and I didn't have that particular tasteful passion that hers and her husband did... I wanted it... She had a boy... I wanted her life... She made me not want to be me for once in my life because I wanted everything she had in her life... she may not have been rich but she was happier than I was." She spoke and nodded slightly as she zoned out as they walked slowly towards the house. "I walked home from Vera's house that very night thinking about what I had discovered.. it was a dark quiet night... and I shouldn't have left so late... And that night... was the worst night of my life..." She spoke with a frown as she stopped walking and zoned out as she relived it as she thought about it. The sounds she could hear... the smell of booze filled her nostrils... the smell of her own blood... sweat... the laughing of the men... her very own muffled screams... the bruises on her as she was held down.

A shaky breath went in through her lungs and she held it there for a moment as she let go of his hand and placed her hand on her left wrist. Closing her eyes she had to remember that it was years ago... she was here now with Kaleb... her son... no one was going to harm her here... And frankly she was embarassed for being caught up in the moment. "I apologize..." She whispered breathing out the breath she was holding and shook her head opening her eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest and continued to walk. "Kaleb that night a group of drunk... disgusting... worthless men found me walking home... they were bad men... in that group was my fiancee Royce... Every one of them beat me till it hurt to breathe... till i stared death in the eyes... They raped me... some multiple times... Just to get their fix while I still had fight in me... While I still had breath..." She spoke bitterly and she swallowed a lump in her throat.

"Once they were done with my broken motionless human body they left me there and went on their merry way without a second glance or a care in the world... I stared at death... I welcomed it... I felt ugly... I felt used... I felt dirty... I felt like I wanted to die... And then a man stumbled across me as I lay there dying in the streets... The pity on his face made everything ten times worse... He kneeled near me and told me that it was going to hurt but he was going to save me... He promised me things would be alright... Before I could even clear my throat of blood the man... your grandfather Carlisle... sank his fangs into my skin... I couldn't take the pain any longer and I passed out only to awaken the next day to this new life... new body... I hated your grandfather for many years for changing me... I wanted to die that night... I didn't want this..." She spoke and looked up at him and rubbed the back of his neck slightly.

"After I woke up I was bitter... Carlisle warned me about blood lust and told me to stay from humans... but I snuck out... I didn't care... Vengeance overrode my want for blood... I tracked down each and every man and made them suffer and beg me for death like I did that very night... I wanted them to suffer as much as I possibly could before killing them... I never dropped a single drop of blood from them.. but I did kill every single one of them..." She spoke and sighed softly as she looked at him. "The point of my story Kaleb... is that I understand what it is like... To get your humanity stolen from you when you want nothing more than to just wither and die... I understand feeling worthless and wanting to end it all... And I understand your want for vengeance... But son... finding that man and killing him.... it wont bring your sister back..." She spoke sadly with a frown.

A soft sigh escaped her lips as she rubbed his back softly. "It doesn't help anything at all... trust me... if anything it made things worse... I stayed in the house being the bitter woman I was and refused to talk to anyone... refused to live... refused this lifestyle... I wanted nothing to do with Edward or Carlisle." She spoke and continued walking. "I am sorry that I didn't give you the chance like I wasn't able to choose Kaleb... You have no idea how much guilt I carry on my shoulders for changing you... But... I am not sorry for having you... You brightened up my blackhole of a life Kaleb... I lived bitterly and angrily for years knowing that I would never be able to live a proper human life... That I wouldn't have the chance to grow old with a man I loved... To do everything I wanted... To have and raise children... and grandchildren... I was so bitter for it.. but now I have you... And as far as I am concerned you are my son... and I love you like my child Kaleb..." She whispered honestly.

"I don't want you to feel this guilt anymore... This hatred... Live your life for them... for your parents and your sister.. You know that if they were here right now and could talk to you... that they would be telling you to keep strong and be happy... They would want you to live... I unfortunately never saw that because the only person who seemed to care much about me in my life was Carlisle and he took my life away from me.." She spoke with a soft sigh. "I want your happiness... Kaleb you learn as you go on in this world... things aren't really as bad as they seem... and things do get better..." She spoke and wrapped her arms around him hugging him tight to her placing her hands flat on his back. "Kaleb... I know it hurts to lose them... but they would want you to let them go... let the pain go...they would want you to be happy and live in their memory... not in their guilt... They loved you so much... I remember it clearly... they treated you like their world..." She spoke with a soft smile and kissed his cheek.

"This wasn't your fault Kaleb... this is fate... in fact... I think that this is how it was always meant to be... We need each other to heal our wounds of past life... I wonder if this is the doing of Corrine herself..." She spoke and smiled lightly. "She always told me... 'Chin up you silly girl... be strong... live on... love and be loved... things will always get better... don't ever think you are alone in this girl because you always have me... I may not live forever but my love is undying'...." She spoke with a smile. "Maybe you should take your great great great grandmothers advice as I have done... Chin up you silly boy... I may not live forever but my love is undying." She spoke with a soft smile and rubbed his back as she held him tight to her.



tag: kaleb
comments: i love our thinking
song credits: Under The Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers
word count: 2425

[KALEB CULLEN]

Kaleb cocked an eyebrow and looked at her oddly. Why she had said his name almost inaudibly then laughed her had no idea. He was contemplating on asking her why the hell he was laughing but if he knew his adoptive mother, she'd give reasoning. Which she in fact did moments after that thought.

"What are you talking about? We never met till in the forest."

He said however when she began walking off in a vampire speed he followed after her. He was wracking his brains now. Most of his child hood was fuzzy. His teenage years before he was changed were fuzzy but not as fuzzy as his childhood was. He scratched the back of his had with his left hand before he crossed his arms.

Reaching another gravestone he read the name on it 'Corrine Smith'. He didn't know much on his family but he recalled his mother's maiden name being Smith before she married his Dad. That much he was aware of. He looked at Rosalie and listened to her speak.

His mind was reeling and you could almost see the cogs in his head turning as he thought and furrowed his brow. Trying to remember. Finally it all clicked and a particular memory came to mind it was fuzzy almost as if it were a film in an old sepia fashion. Probably a year or two before he got the scar that was still present on his cheek,

"I remember. Its fuzzy but I remember."

It didn't shock him that the people thought he died in the fire too. He imagined nothing was left of the house or much remains existed and everyone had been so focused on the house he imagined no one really seen him run off. Only evidence he had been outside the house would have been his baseball bag and gear. Of course people could have still thought he ran into the house and died. As she took his hand and they began walking for the treeline he nodded,

"Yeah I have no desire to become a walking disco ball."

He said a small grin crossing his features. His eyes were still dark and swarming with emotion and as he heard her story the emotions ten-fold. How people could be so disgusting and sick he would never know. In his opinion they deserved a horrible death that made them beg for mercy, and no matter what his mother said about going on and living and letting it go he would not. If he was able to he'd track down the bastard that hurt his sister and do something that would make even a person with the strongest of stomachs twitch and hurl.

It would probably be awhile to calm down, if he did calm down but right now all he was seeing was red. He looked at her as they walked, listening to her talk.

"No it may not bring her back but it would make me feel a whole lot better to know the bastard that hurt her got what he did to her. The fact that, that sick disgusting worthless excuse for a human being is still walking makes me want to scream and tear something apart. He doesn't deserve to be out and about he deserves to be dead."

He said through clenched teeth a growl coming from deep in his throat like an animal trying to get out of its cage. Which in truth was. His want for the man that killed his sister to be dead was unleashing his inner monster that had existed ever since his sister went missing and was presumed dead.

Raking his hands through his hair again making it stand out at odd directions like he had just rolled out of bed he hit a nearby tree with enough force to crack it and leave a crater in it where his fist had hit it. He was sure if Jasper has been in the area he'd probably book it in the other direction because of the anger radiating off of him. Not even the empath would be able to calm him. Which he hated when he did and tried to. Of course Jasper had only ever tried to calm him when he was wanting nothing more to tear Alice to shreds for shopping.

Giving a slight eye roll at his Mother he said,

"Mom, I highly doubt my however old great great grandmother is sitting on a cloud now and told you to follow the scent of human blood in the woods that day. I think that was just your own curiosity."

He shoved his hands in his pockets as they walked, talking as they went along.

POSTWORDCOUNT:: 785
MYCURRENTMOOD:: high fiving mine and wheaty's brain for their cleverness
THECURRENTSONG:: smile in your sleep - silverstein
POSTISTAGGEDFOR:: r. hale
THEWRITERCOMMENTS:: sorry its not as long as your outrageous post but to me its long enough

[ROSALIE HALE]

One at a time, constants become surreal
One at a time, heart attacks are consealed
I can see that I lose the joys of life,

One at a time.
Suicides are revealed
You will see that I lost another life

Rosalie smiled slightly when he said it was fuzzy but gave a slight nod. She figured that it would be kind of fuzzy. Sometimes it took a while for memories to come back after changed. Hers unfortunately came back the second she woke up. She wished she had forgotten it like most did but her revenge anger and hatred overpowered everything the second she awoken. "I figured... I remember it as if it was just yesterday." She spoke with a soft smile. "You were maybe four years old... curious yet shy little child you were. When I arrived you hid behind your mothers leg and looked at me with big eyes as I talked to her." She spoke and smiled once more at the memory.

"You weren't as shy when you saw I brought candy though... Once you realized I had brought gifts you went crazy and hyper... attached to my side... I stayed there for a couple days because you wanted me to..." She spoke with another smile as she chuckled softly. "I remember holding you in my arms on your bed telling you stories... stories of your family... and for all you knew at the time fairy tales about vampires among other things.... You loved the stories and you fell asleep in my arms when I told them to you... you were such a beautiful child it pained me to leave the house after you had fallen asleep... Even now I wish I could have stayed... perhaps if I did you would be a happy young man without losing your family." She spoke and frowned softly and sighed. She did harbor a lot of guilt for his family... she should have been there... she promised...

"Once I got the letter from your mother about your sister I took off back to Forks... I was half way around the world when I had gotten it... I wanted to help look and give the person hell for doing this... But I got there too little too late... I even tried running into the house... I didn't care who saw... But I only stumbled upon bodies... I took them outside before any more harm came to them... I tried desperately to revive them... It was no such luck... I had to hand them over to the police..." She spoke with a sad sigh and she closed her eyes.

A soft chuckle and slight smile reappeared on her face when she talked about not wanting to be a walking disco ball. "I know and I truly am sorry... my own selfish needs came before yours... I wanted a child and I stumbled across you.. All I could think about was this connection I couldn't understand but I had it with you... a random kid... I was so angry at you for trying to kill yourself... I knew that was what you did because your arms proved me right... Mixture of anger, need, and love surged over me... your heart was slowing dramatically... I did what first came to mind and bit you..." She spoke and sighed softly. "I was careful not to get any of your blood in my mouth and on my tongue... I knew that it would be disasterous if I did... then I carried you home while you started your change..." She spoke and bit her lip softly as she looked at him. "I am so sorry Kaleb... you don't know how much it hurts me to know I took your life from you... I had always promised myself that that wouldn't happen again.."

"Emmett... your father was my doing.... I found him and he was near death and I brought him home demanding Carlisle to change him... Sure Emmett likes to say he enjoys this life but that guilt still rests on my shoulders for taking away his life... his real life.... I didn't want to do that to anyone else again... But then I found you... I just couldn't let you die... I wanted you for myself.." She spoke and looked down biting her lip once more. She was trying so hard to change herself from her selfish self centered ways but often it liked to resurface and slap her in the face... She was rather ashamed of herself for telling him the reason why he was turned. She felt like a selfish and greedy bitch that didn't deserve the great people she had in her life.

When Kaleb spoke about the man that killed his sister Rosalie closed her eyes and sighed softly. "Son.... I wish you would listen to me... It isn't worth it... you will never find him... You are going to hate me for this..." She spoke and sighed sadly and stopped to look at him. She rubbed his cheek slightly and made him look at her. "The man is already dead..." She spoke softly and frowned. "He was the one who set fire to your house as well... I had saw him run off when I had arrived and after I pulled your parents out I chased him.... I finally found him and tortured him only to find out he was the one who killed your sister... he set the house on fire to make sure that you and your parents would never find him... He was the janitor at the school she went to... But he is long gone..." She spoke and let her hand drop from his cheek.

"I am so sorry Kaleb... I am quite a horrible person... I live for revenge... I'm nothing more than a bitter and selfish old wench..." She spoke and frowned once more. "Revenge isn't something you should hold in your life.... it makes you angry and bitter like I am... I know it's hard... and I know you are angry for what has befallen you... Kaleb I am the one person you will ever find that understands that feeling... But think of your sister... would she want you to be this person... would she want you to live in this anger... regret... sadness... guilt... I may have never met your sister Kaleb... but I have a feeling she would want you happy..." She spoke honestly as she crossed her arms over her chest and rubbed her arm as if she was cold.

A slight smile was on her face when Kaleb doubted her. "I don't... Kaleb I have no drive for human blood at all... When I smell human blood I keep walking despite who or what it is... I keep to myself away from the drama that people involve themselves in... but something made me follow you... Something told me to stop and get you... You can believe what you want Kaleb... I think I will always believe my dear friend did this for me... She always had a funny way of working things out." She spoke with a soft smile as she looked up to the sky as she walked smiling ear to ear.



tag: kaleb
comments: i love our thinking
song credits: Under The Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers
word count: 1207

[KALEB CULLEN]

Kaleb listened to her words, still fuming inside. With Anger and Rage at the person responsible. He looked at his mother when she spoke about how the memory. Yeah he had to be three or four cause he didn't get the scar on his face till he was five maybe six.

"Had to be when I was three or four. I didn't become a daredevil and get the scar on my face till I was five or six. I think I jumped off the slide or monkey bars or something at school..."

He said as he tried to remember. However stopped when she mentioned about how she had and why she changed him. Kaleb didn't know why she felt so bad about it. She didn't take his like. When she bit him there hadn't been much life left in him. He was already on deaths doorstep when she stumbled across him.

His eyes eyes were focused on the ground he walked across as she continued speaking. Not really stopping as she told the story. His eye snapped up and looked at her though when she mentioned him not being able to find the man who killed his sister even if he tried. The revelation that the same man that killed his sister killed his parents was new to him and angered boiled in his skin.

Rosalie's next word snapped him out of the process of thinking of a hundred ways to torture someone and kill them. He was dead she had killed him. When she said who the murdering son of a bitch had been he gave another growl. He never trusted that man. He remembered the creepy guy from when he had went to that school. The man had been nothing more than a creeper who well creeped around and just gave everyone the heebie jeebies.

He had never trusted the guy and when the police had checked him out he had been clean according to them but he was a creep and he probably knew what he was doing and got rid of every possible thing that linked him. Kaleb stopped and looked at his adoptive mother,

"Why do you carry guilt for changing me? I was already near death when you found me and there was hardly any life left in me to take..."

He spoke, He could understand her anger for nearly taking his own life. Everyone reflected badly on the thought of someone committing suicide or attempting it in his case. She was no different, Yet he understood all her words and knew she was right.

Revenge and Hatred could only lead you to bitterness and everything she said. Sure he was a bit angry she only wanted him for her selfish needs but it didn't matter because she cared about him and that connection they always shared was finally unfolded but he didn't think of her as some selfish bitter person. Sure she had her moments of selfishness obviously but at least it didn't over rule her.

He knew how his adoptive father was changed he had told him in hope of getting his story out of him yet it hadn't worked. Of course he might tell him now. He figured his mother would keep the unraveling between them and let Kaleb tell others on his own time. Well at least that's what he was hoping anyhow.

"Your not some selfish bitter person. If you were bitter in all ways possible you wouldn't care and we wouldn't be having this conversation. Sure you've got your selfish moments in your point of view but at least you don't let the want, take and have rule over you."

He responded as he shoved his hands in his pockets again and began walking. The night was fading. Time sure did fly sometimes. The sun was lightening the sky ever so slowly. Yup today was gonna be a stuck inside torturous day. For the family. Since his anger had resided somewhat his eyes were no longer dark and were back to their unique amber color.

He wasn't sure if their color was because he was still going through the whole newborn vampire stage or if that was just his own unique thing either way they never seemed to lighten up much more than what they were now.

POSTWORDCOUNT:: 719
MYCURRENTMOOD:: high fiving mine and wheaty's brain for their cleverness
THECURRENTSONG:: smile in your sleep - silverstein
POSTISTAGGEDFOR:: r. hale
THEWRITERCOMMENTS:: I am mad because I cannot match your post